Sheep Dressed Like Wolves -
This post was written by Andy Mort
by Andy Mort
This week we have been exploring ideas around the word ‘settle’.
It can be a scary word, especially for us in society today.
I’ve talked before about the paradox of choice, the fear of missing out, and the fact that we can become so overwhelmed with possibilities that we struggle to act.
And this is where our distrust or fear of settling comes from. Settling is commitment, it’s a decision to see something through.
Less But Better
How do we move from impatience and unsettle to a place of acceptance where we admit ‘I can’t have it all and that’s OK’? Settling allows us to get deep, to discover meaning, to really explore. We need to stop believing we can have it all and look instead in the direction of ‘less but better’.
In this episode of the podcast I explore more deeply some of these ideas and what it might look like for us to embrace our comfort zone, settle down, and do the work/become the people we were born to do and be.
Over to You
What aspects of life do you need settling before you are able to function at your best?Please come and leave your answer on this week’s blog post.
by Andy Mort | 2 Comments
I bet when you hear the word ‘settle’ something specific comes to mind.
Maybe it’s a memory of a teacher standing at the front of your class shouting at you all to ‘settle down’.
Perhaps it’s a word for the future; the inevitable time that will eventually come with the career, mortgage, 2.4 children etc.
Or maybe it’s that negotiation before that big decision was taken and you were forced to make those compromises.
by Andy Mort | 5 Comments
In my recent Gentle Rebel Video Series I talked about 10 distractions that can stand between introverted and/or highly sensitive people, and the active impact we want to make in the world. I imagine most of us would be lying if we said that we didn’t experience resistance in this area from time to time.
It can be so much harder than it sounds to identify what truly matters to you. We experience conflicting inner voices pulling us in different directions and causing confusion about what we should be doing, who we should be helping, and how we should be spending our time.
At the end of the third and final video I asked the question: if you had no constraints in terms of money, time, energy, and other peoples’ expectations, what would you spend your time doing?
This is a question I often encourage people who are struggling to identify what really matters to them to think about.
by Andy Mort | 2 Comments
Last week a Buzzfeed article was drawn to my attention: 21 Signs You Might Actually Be An Ambivert – If you don’t feel like an extrovert or an introvert, this might be why.
I found it a slightly frustrating and even troubling post because it is very orientated around sociability and on many points has very little to do with what it really means to be an introvert, extrovert, and ambivert. It leans more towards how sociable you are rather than the simple truth of energy creation/management. i.e. where you put your attention and get your energy.
In other words, the question: do you re-energise by spending time in the outer world of people and things (Extraversion), or in your inner world of ideas and images (Introversion)?
We all fall somewhere along the line, most people somewhere in the middle. So the majority of people will of course identify with what it might mean to be ambivert.
In this particular article it feels to me like unnecessary labelling that misses the point of why the awareness of introversion has been such an important thing. Not because it gives us an identity, but rather because it helps us to understand ourselves so that we can orientate ourselves to the world in a more natural and self-accepting way.
This episode of the podcast is my response to the article…
By Andy Mort
Today I am excited to announce a brand new video series that I am publishing throughout this week. The first one went live this morning.
Everyone has something remarkable to offer the world. We all have the potential to make a gentle impact on the lives of those around us. There is a soft whisper inside each one of us that notices aspects of the world around that resonate with who we are. By tuning into this voice we begin identifying the stuff that truly matters.
It sounds easy.
The voice gets drowned out by the noise of life and the distractions of an attention seeking world that never seems to sleep. Not to mention the negative internal dialogue that constantly talks over that sensitive whisper, feeding you unhelpful advice, fears, and reminders of every piece of criticism you’ve received in the past ten years.
Every single one of us carries something important within; a powerful potential:
To be able to make a positive impact on the day…
This is your art. It is your choice.
And those fears and apprehensions that you feel as you think about what to do and where to start?
You’re not alone.
It’s the start of a brand new year in the Members Haven and we are looking at the nature of impact. It’s a word I seem to use a lot, I mean it’s even in the tagline of the website right now: ‘make your gentle impact in a noisy world’.
In the conversation I had with Danny Iny from Firepole Marketing to kick the content off this month the idea of ‘impact’ was at the core. He said something that really fascinated me about the nature of business:
“Business is not about making money, it’s about finding a sustainable way to make the impact you want to have”
As introverts and highly sensitive people we look for meaning and purpose in what we do with our lives. Most of us want to feel like what we do is making some kind of a positive difference. This is our impact.
Your Impact is Your Footprint on the Heart of the World
I invited Danny Iny into the Haven for an interview because I have heard him talk about the fact that being an introvert has been a significant part of his journey. He shared his struggles with networking, the fact that he has had to let go of the feeling that he ‘should’ be ‘at the bar’ where all the action happens, accepting instead that this is not who he is or sustainable for his energy (and importantly not necessary for the success of his business).
Do you remember this nursery rhyme?
“Sticks and stones may break my bones
But words will never hurt me.”
It’s always confused me. It doesn’t make sense. It’s not true. Words have the potential to do far more damage than a stick or a stone.
by Andy Mort | 8 Comments
It can be hard to talk about the idea of sensitivity.
The word ‘sensitive’ has so many connotations and conjure different mental pictures for everyone, many times negative. We often unconsciously associate it with being ‘too emotional’, having ‘thin skin’ or needing to ‘man up’.
These are the cultural constructs that surround sensitivity and so when we think about the idea of high processing sensitivity or ‘highly sensitive people’ we jump straight to the view that sensitivity equates to weakness or a naivety/lack of self-control/inability to cope with reality.
But with a temperament that accounts for 20% of the population, including both introverts and extraverts, we need to grapple with and de-bunk some of the myths and negative connotations surrounding what it means to be ‘sensitive’.
As the new year rolls in I thought it was a good opportunity to talk about rhythm and explore some ideas that I’ve been thinking about over the past few months.
I’ve been penning a few ideas for what I think will become a new book at some point next year and it felt like a really good opportunity to allow some of these to breathe a little and surface for air.
In the show I talk about two general areas:
“We have to slow the rhythm of rush in our lives so that the best of who are can emerge”
We’re at the end of yet another year. It feels like just a few weeks ago when I wrote in a blog post at the end of 2013:
“I wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you. This year has been great on the blog, it’s been one of laying foundations and working through some stuff. Thank you for bearing with me, for coming with me, and for helping shape what this website is becoming.”
Reading that again made me laugh; it’s as if nothing and everything has changed at the same time. I would like to reiterate exactly what I said and say thank you once again to all of you who have been reading and listening over the year. It’s been great getting to know you and sharing with you.