Sheep Dressed Like Wolves -
This post was written by Andy Mort
Do you find small talk with new people an exhausting challenge? The time spent skating on the surface, jumping between topics, without time to think or fully engage in conversation.
And yet, if it leads to a deeper discussion you can keep going for hours without tiring in the same way.
If this is you then you’re not alone. Not only that, but it appears to be a positive trait to have.
What does it mean to feel at home?
I recently came across a lovely description of home: it’s a place we can never see with a stranger’s eyes for more than a moment.
We become deeply connected to home and this can happen extremely quickly, not just in the place you call home.
“I can’t swim, I’ll just stay here in the shallow bit”
“Would you like to learn? I can teach you.”
“No. I tried when I was 3 but I couldn’t do it. I give up too easily.”
What predictions do you make about your future by your response to the present?
We forecast our life of the future by the stories we believe about ourselves today.
On a children’s holiday camp I recently helped lead, a ten year old did learn to swim for the first time. This was a huge achievement for him. After an hour of struggling, failing, and trying again, he swam across the pool.
Why did he succeed? He told me afterwards that it was because he was someone who doesn’t give up even when he feels like stopping.
He lived the reality that he believed was true for himself and thus reinforced it.
This episode of the podcast is focussed on how we respond to attention; finding ourselves in the spotlight. How do we cope as introverted or highly sensitive people?
How do you feel about being the centre of attention?
For many of us it can be a struggle. Whether it’s making a speech, opening presents/blowing the candles out on your birthday, or performing something in front of a group of people. Attention can be a challenge.
In this episode I want to share a few ways of thinking about it that might help alleviate the overwhelm and pressure you feel the next time the attention is on you.
We all compare ourselves to others. We know we shouldn’t…but we do.
We either look at what they’re doing and wish we were doing it as well, or else we may look at them and make critical, maybe even cynical judgements.
It can be painful to accept but we all experience waves of envy and jealousy from time to time. Probably more often than we are comfortable admitting even to ourselves. In many ways this has only been compounded by the rise of social media and the sugar-coated perception that we have of other peoples’ activity through their photos and updates.
We live in a time where we inadvertently compare our own lives with our perception of the lives of others.
by Andy Mort | 3 Comments
Empathy is a word we hear a lot in conversations about high sensitivity and introversion. Maybe you’ve heard the term ’empath’ used to describe a particular type of sensitivity (soaking up the mood of people and environment). This is separate from the concept of empathy itself and is not what I’m talking about.
Though some people find it easier than others, empathy is not a natural character trait, it is a discipline that is honed and learned over time. As such we can almost all sharpen out empathic saw if we choose to do so.
Over the past few months I’ve been dipping in and out of Roman Krznaric’s fantastic book, Empathy.
by Andy Mort | 2 Comments
Have you heard of an ‘energy vampire’?
It’s a term that is used to describe those items around the house that when left plugged in quietly suck up a lot of energy. You recognise energy vampires because they feel warm when you touch them.
Energy vampires also exist among humans. They’re kind of the opposite in that they don’t really make you feel warm when you touch them.
The mornings just got dark again.
I wake up at stupid o’clock to write. The ease of this endeavour changes depending on the time of year. When the sun gets up with me it is not quite so hard. But during the dark winter months it really hurts.
Over the past few weeks it had been getting lighter. Well, it was until British Summer Time kicked in. Now we’re apparently back in time.
Fortunately for the past few months the darkness of the mornings hasn’t bothered me; I haven’t really noticed because we have a remarkable new friend in our house.
Do you have loads of interests, ideas and paths that you really want to explore? Do you, like me, get distracted by other things when you have committed to focus on something else?
This is a massive thing for many of us introverts and highly sensitive people.
We’re often by nature big daydreamers and allow our thoughts to veer off in all sorts of directions. I don’t know about you but it’s rare that I go a day without thinking of another idea that I’d like to explore.
By Andy Mort
by Andy Mort | 4 Comments
“What tool did you use to make that?”
We live in an age of abundant toolage. For pretty much whatever you want to do you will find a tool or hack to make it easier. The internet is the source of much of this, whether it’s advice/tutorials, or apps and software, it truly is a fantastic time to make stuff happen.
But there is another side to this question that is insidiously taking over our view of life: we expect and demand tools that make achieving our ambitions easier.
I have noticed an understated language shift that partners a growing assumption that it is tools and not the people in command of the tools that makes the difference. It’s a subtle yet significant difference to consider.